Ketika Harus Menjadi Minoritas

Artikel ini ditulis tahun 2011, 6 tahun lalu, oleh sahabat baik, wartawan majalah Aulia. Pengalaman hidup di Hongaria ketika baru pindah. Ada hal-hal yang tidak berubah, ada juga yang sudah berbeda keadaanya dengan saat ini.

 

Goulash Pot - Integration and Equality Training : Chalenging our perspectives on Saturday afternoon.

If you think of Goulash you will think of a warm nice meat and vegetable mixture soup with a kick taste of paprika that satisfies your stomach. It is also what this training offers: a mix of multicultural experiences in one spot, where living in Hungary is the common spice and it will leave you with a warm feeling afterward.

I wasn't sure to join at first because I didn't know what to expect. But I met a previous participant, and based on her experience, she recommended it. I thought to give it a try and I thought it would be a good place to meet people

I joined the third training group. The training consisted of 4 sessions on Saturday afternoons. Four hours each session. I was thinking, what are we going to do for 4 hours?! Well, now I can say that I did not even think of time once I was engaged in the training. All the activities were fun, interactive and mind-boggling. They consisted of games, role play and watching movies with enough breaks between them. Every session had a packed schedule for different activities that gave us no time to be bored. And each of them was challenging our perspectives.

Lively discussions on every session (picture source Goulash Pot Facebook page)

My group was awesome. It consisted of around 12 people (different people came in a different session to make up the season they missed during the previous training). We come from different cultures and backgrounds. They were all open minded, fun and smart. The training had a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. It was led by two wonderful trainers, Julieta from Mexico and Dalma from Hungary. No cell phones were allowed during the training (but free wifi was available during the break) and they waited for each of participants to arrive before starting the season. (Nobody left behind.. :)

We shared and discussed various topics, many of them were sensitive and challenging. From being a foreigner in Hungary to sex. From heroes and heroines in our own country to marriage. We shared our opinions without being judged. It is not about right or wrong. It is only how we see things differently. The differences which were coming from the different knowledge and experiences of the participants about the subject.

On seeing ourselves and other when we are on the top or bottom of the society
(picture source Goulash Pot Facebook page)

One thing might be normal for us but it might not be for others. When we looked back, we realized it might be normal only because we got used to it. We were taught to think that way. For instance, in one of the activities, we were given a list of statements about men and women. We needed to think whether those statements were coming from the gender perspectives (the idea that was taught) or the sex (we are born like that).

We were challenged to think different ways whether what we thought of a man or a woman can do and can not do something because they were born like that or was it because of the result of our culture that was there for ages? We might agree or disagree. But we respect each others' opinions and views. And we might get a new perspective to think about at the end of the discussion.

On how people are labeling and judging other people
(picture source Goulash Pot Facebook page)

We also did a lot of role plays. One of them was about sharing our experiences of living in Hungary. As a foreigner, we have experienced racism in some form or another. Some of us got discriminated because of our country of origin, some of us got bullied because what we wear, some of us got harsh comments because of the skin color, and some of us got different treatment because we speak a different language. We shared these experiences and discussed what we could do and how to deal with them.

On being inside and outside of the circle
(picture source Goulash Pot Facebook page)

At the end of the training, two of the most engaged participant got prizes. They were Nahed from Egypt and Eddie from Tunisia. But what I feel is that we all got the prizes. We got new friends, new experiences, and new perspectives on things in life. We left the training with a warm feeling and a richer mind.

On the last day of the training. (picture credit: Husnah Manwan)

P:S: Check out the training page on the Facebook: mighelp's goulash pot.  They are opening the registration for the new group.

Ramadan di Hongaria

Menjalani ibadah puasa Ramadan di negara dengan umat muslim yang minoritas memang bukan perkara mudah. Apalagi ketika bulan Ramadan jatuh di musim panas di mana matahari betah berlama-lama sehingga menyisakan malam hanya beberapa jam saja.  Selain suhu udara bisa mencapai  40 derajat celcius, waktu berpuasa di musim panas menjadi lebih lama, sekitar 18 jam. Akibatnya jadwal salat isya pun jatuh mendekati tengah malam membuat waktu salat tarawih dan waktu sahur hanya berselang  1-2 jam saja.  Mau tak mau jadwal tidur malam pun berganti menjadi setelah salat subuh.

Hal ini yang saya alami di bulan Ramadan  tahun 2013 kali ini yang merupakan Ramadan ke tiga saya di Budapest, ibu kota Hongaria, sebuah negara kecil di tengah-tengah benua Eropa.  

Islam  di Hongaria sendiri merupakan bagian dari sejarah panjang negara ini. Salah satunya karena pernah menjadi daerah kekuasaan Turki Ottoman selama lebih dari 150 tahun (1541-1699). Sayangnya, tidak ada lagi jejak Islam yang signifikan tertinggal di sini.  

Tomb of Gül Baba : Makam tokoh Islam Turki Ottoman di Budapest

Populasi umat muslim di Hongaria yang hanya berjumlah sekitar 60.000 orang dari total 10 juta penduduk Hongaria menjadikan Islam sebagai sesuatu yang asing  bagi warga Hongaria saat ini. Saya sudah terbiasa mendapatkan tatapan aneh dari orang – orang karena mengenakan jilbab. Jadi bisa dibayangkan tanggapan mereka mengetahui umat Islam harus berpuasa sebulan penuh apalagi di musim panas.

 ’’Berpuasa untuk tidak makan masih bisa diterima tapi tidak minum?? ’’, ucap seorang teman sambil menggeleng-gelengkan kepalanya. ’’ Puasa Ramadan hanya untuk orang Arab, tidak cocok untuk kita di Hongaria’’, tambahnya lagi. Maklum di sini orang mengindentikan  Islam lebih kepada adat dan istiadat Timur Tengah daripada sebuah agama yang universal.

Lain lagi ceritanya ketika saya diundang makan malam di rumah salah seorang sanak keluarga. Sang tuan rumah berkali-kali menyibakan tirai jendela, kemudian dia berkata, ’’ Lihat matahari sudah tidak terlihat lagi, apakah kamu sudah bisa makan sekarang?”. Padahal saat itu keadaan masih terang benderang karena matahari hanya tertutup awan dan waktu berbuka masih sekitar setengah jam lagi.

Tahun pertama saya berpuasa di Budapest terasa lebih berat karena waktunya yang lebih panjang dan suasana Ramadan tidak terasa sama sekali. Mayoritas teman –teman saya saat itu tidak ada yang berpuasa. Semua berjalan seperti hari –hari biasa. Justru disitulah tantangan terberat untuk tetap menjalankan ibadah sebagai seorang muslim minoritas.  Dengan berjalannya waktu, saya mulai mengenal banyak umat muslim dan beberapa komunitas Islam di Hongaria. Hal ini membantu saya menjalani Ramadan di Hongaria menjadi lebih ringan.

Sejauh yang saya tahu ada sekitar 5 mesjid di Budapest,  dan tiga diantaranya sering saya kunjungi selama Ramadan.  Setiap hari di mesjid-mesjid tersebut selalu disediakan makanan berbuka puasa . Susu dan kurma merupakan kombinasi yang biasa dihidangkan sebagai takjil. Setelah Salat magrib berjamaah, mengikuti kebiasaan makan orang Hongaria, menu berbuka puasa selalu diawali oleh sup kemudian barulah makanan berat dan buah-buahan sebagai penutup dihidangkan. 

Mesjid terbesar di Hungary

Tidak ketinggalan Kedutaan Republik Indonesia di Budapest pun menyelengarakan buka puasa bersama rutin setiap hari Jumat bagi masyarakat Indonesia. Hal ini menjadi wadah berkumpulnya masyarakat Indonesia di Budapest, yang jumlahnya tidak seberapa, saat Ramadan dan pengobat rindu akan masakan indonesia. 

Yang menarik setelah saya perhatikan ada perbedaan jadwal salat di tiap-tiap mesjid. Terutama untuk salat isha dan subuh. Perbedaanya bisa sampai setengah jam lebih. Mungkin karena perhitungan yang mereka gunakan berbeda-beda. Tentu saja saya memilih untuk salat tarawih di mesjid yang mempunyai jadwal salat isha lebih cepat.  Selain tarawihnya selesai lebih cepat kami pun bisa pulang tidak terlalu malam. Tapi sayang tidak ada perbedaan waktu yang signifikan dalam hal adzan magrib...:)

Tulisan ini di buat atas permintaan teman (sangat) baik saya untuk diterbitkan sebagai rangkaian cerita Ramadhan di media online tempat suaminya bekerja. Sudah lama sekali saya tidak menulis. Bahkan terakhir nulis di blog ini pun tahun 2011 ( kalo barang dah berdebu, karatan, banyak binatang2 kecil...hiii). Setelah menulis cerita ini jadi termotivasi lagi buat menulis tentang pengalaman selama di negeri orang ini.  link ke media dimana cerita ini diterbitkan :  Cerita menjalani puasa Ramadan di Hongaria

Eating Out (of Indonesia)

I never thought buying food can be this troublesome and time consuming before I came to Hungary. First of all Hungary is not a muslim country and only a few muslim live here. Halal food is rare and I haven't found any product which has halal stamp on it yet. I should read through all the ingredients before deciding to buy something. Since almost all the product use Hungarian language, it's hubby's job to scan all what are written there. We might also necessary to check the food ingredients numbers that written with the letter E in the beginning, for instance: E 441 stand for gelatin*. Complicated, huh?

**We hate you coz we can't eat you..mhuahahaa.. -kidding.

Second, we ( Hubby and I) are not muslim who believe it's ok to eat any meat but pork. That's make our problem double. We don't eat meat ( beef, chicken, turkeys..etc) from common places here which are obviously not slaughtered in Islam way. Halal butchery is rare and the place is far from home. Needless to say, I become a temporarily vegetarian. Vegetable and fish are my daily menu. Eating out is the same. Hubby has to scan all the food in the menu that has no meat (any kind) or alcohol. In a food court he just says :" haram, haram, haram, ok, haram, haram.. " while pointing to the food or image of it. But I must aware to coz he'll say "haram" to expensive thing :D.

Dreaming this was an advertisement for KFC Hungary.

Third, I can't cook. Err...ok, no need further explanation for this. :D

Be grateful for those who live in muslim country or have major group of muslim there. You can find easily halal food. But it makes us not aware to what we eat actually ( in this case in Indonesia). We just think all meat and food are halal there without thinking much about it and give all the work to MUI for halal sign. It's a nice life indeed. Well, just open your eyes and read till your eyes bleed before you eat ( nice rime...:P) You don't want to eat something without Allah blessing, do you?

* The rest of the food ingredient numbers codes can be found here
**The poor pig image is taken from this interesting blog about pig here

Culture Shock : Toilet

I notice I've written about this before. I can't help, toilet's always be my first problem when going abroad. I'm just not comfortable with European kind of toilet with no water, toilet paper only. I know it's not as uncomfortable as people are watching you while you're doing private thing in toilet.

(*A toilet in Newzealand. Wondering what kind of expression you can bear guys? :D)

My only problem with toilet is I need water! Ok, Actually, these days even in Indonesia you can find this kind of toilet especially in big mall or luxury hotels that none of them using water anymore. I can take it in occasionally event but deal with that everyday is other thing.

Can you imagine when you poo while you are in period also and what you have only toilet paper to clean your a**?! yupe that's double "eeew". I told this to hubby and we decided to find something to end my misery. Instead of finding bailer and bucket we found this:

yupe it's a jug measurement. :D Couldn't find any better to substitute those.. If one day you happen to visit me and find that thing in my bathroom..you know what's that for ; )

*The toilet picture's taken from here